Spotting Cringey Dialogue: Your Guide To Natural Writing
Hey everyone! Ever worry that your dialogue sounds a bit… off? Like something a robot or an alien trying to mimic human conversation would say? You're not alone! Writing natural, engaging dialogue is a tricky art. We've all been there, staring at our words, wondering if they sound cringey. But fear not! This guide is packed with tips and tricks to help you identify and eliminate cringeworthy dialogue from your writing. Let's dive in and make your characters sound like real people!
What Makes Dialogue Cringey?
Before we get into fixing things, let's define what we mean by "cringey dialogue." Cringey dialogue is dialogue that feels unnatural, forced, or unbelievable. It's the kind of dialogue that makes readers pause, pull a face, and maybe even put the book down. There are several things that can cause dialogue to feel cringey, let's discuss those things in detail.
Unrealistic Speech Patterns
One major culprit is unrealistic speech patterns. Real people don't speak in perfectly crafted sentences. We stumble, we pause, we use filler words like "um" and "uh." We interrupt each other, we go off on tangents, and we sometimes speak in fragments. If your characters are always speaking in grammatically perfect prose, it's going to sound weird. For example, imagine a character in a high-stakes chase scene pausing to say, "I find myself in a rather precarious situation, wouldn't you agree?" Totally cringey, right? Instead, try something like, "This is bad! Really bad!" or even just a breathless, "Run!"
To avoid unrealistic speech patterns, really listen to how people talk in real life. Eavesdrop (discreetly, of course!) on conversations in coffee shops, on the bus, or even just with your friends and family. Pay attention to the rhythms and patterns of speech. How do people actually string their words together? What kind of slang do they use? How often do they interrupt each other? This will help you develop an ear for natural-sounding dialogue.
Stilted or Formal Language
Another common cause of cringey dialogue is stilted or overly formal language. Unless your character is a super-prim and proper type, they probably won't be saying things like, "I daresay I am rather famished" or "Pray tell, what is your occupation?" This kind of language might be appropriate in a historical novel set in the Victorian era, but it's going to sound out of place in a contemporary story. Even in historical fiction, it's important to balance formality with realism. Not everyone in the Victorian era spoke like they were in a play by Oscar Wilde!
Think about your character's background, education, and personality. Would they really use such formal language? If not, try to find more natural ways of expressing the same idea. Instead of "I daresay I am rather famished," try "I'm starving!" or "I could really go for some food right now."
On-the-Nose Dialogue
On-the-nose dialogue is when characters say exactly what they're thinking or feeling, with no subtext or nuance. It's dialogue that spells everything out for the reader, leaving nothing to the imagination. For example, imagine a character saying, "I'm so angry right now because you betrayed me and I never want to see you again!" That's pretty on-the-nose, right? It's clunky and unnatural, and it doesn't give the reader any credit for being able to understand what's going on. Subtext is your friend! Readers love to read between the lines.
To avoid on-the-nose dialogue, focus on showing, not telling. Instead of having your character explicitly state their feelings, try to convey those feelings through their actions, body language, and tone of voice. Maybe they slam a door, or turn their back, or speak in a cold, clipped tone. Let the reader infer what's going on beneath the surface. For the angry character, instead of saying all those things, perhaps they just say, "Get out."
Infodumping
Infodumping is when characters deliver long speeches that are primarily designed to convey information to the reader, rather than to advance the plot or develop the characters. It's often disguised as dialogue, but it feels more like a lecture or an exposition dump. Imagine a character launching into a detailed explanation of the history of a magical artifact in the middle of a tense scene. It might be interesting information, but it's going to kill the momentum of the story. We need the pacing to be right and a long speech is not the way to go.
Information is important, but it needs to be woven into the story organically. Instead of having a character deliver a monologue, try to reveal information gradually, through conversations, flashbacks, or even internal monologue. A good technique is to break it up into smaller chunks and spread it throughout the story. Maybe the characters find a dusty old book that hints at the artifact's history, or they overhear a conversation between two other characters.
Unnecessary Dialogue
Sometimes, dialogue is unnecessary. Characters might say things that are obvious or that don't contribute anything to the story. Imagine a character saying, "Oh my gosh, it's raining!" when the reader can clearly see that it's raining. Or a character asking, "Are you okay?" when the other character is visibly bleeding and unconscious. That is not the way to go. Of course, if you want a character to look silly or ask a stupid question, this could be intentional.
Be ruthless about cutting dialogue that doesn't serve a purpose. Every line of dialogue should either advance the plot, develop the characters, or create tension or conflict. If it doesn't do any of those things, it's probably better to cut it.
How to Fix Cringey Dialogue: Practical Tips
Okay, so now we know what makes dialogue cringey. But how do we fix it? Here are some practical tips to help you craft dialogue that sounds natural, engaging, and believable.
Read Your Dialogue Aloud
This is a classic piece of advice, but it's still one of the most effective ways to identify cringey dialogue. When you read your dialogue aloud, you'll often catch things that you wouldn't notice when reading silently. Awkward phrasing, unnatural rhythms, and clunky sentences will jump out at you. This is where you can fix anything that sounds jarring or just plain wrong. It might help to record yourself or read to a friend to get feedback.
Don't just read the dialogue – act it out! Put yourself in your character's shoes and try to embody their personality and emotions. How would they actually say these words? What would their tone of voice be? Reading aloud can be helpful, but this takes it to the next level.
Get Feedback
Getting feedback from other writers or readers is invaluable. Fresh eyes can often spot problems that you've become blind to. Share your work with a trusted critique partner or join a writing group. Be open to criticism and don't take it personally. Remember, the goal is to make your writing better. Make sure to get feedback from people whose opinions you trust and respect. They will be your greatest asset in improving your dialogue.
Ask specific questions about your dialogue. Instead of just asking, "Does this sound okay?" try asking, "Does this character's voice sound consistent?" or "Does this dialogue feel realistic in this situation?" The more specific your questions, the more helpful the feedback you'll receive.
Focus on Subtext
As we discussed earlier, subtext is key to writing engaging dialogue. Instead of having your characters say exactly what they mean, try to hint at their true feelings and intentions. This creates tension and intrigue, and it allows the reader to become more invested in the story. It's all about what's left unsaid, not what's actually spoken.
Think about what your characters are really saying. What are they trying to achieve with their words? What are they afraid of? What are they hiding? Once you understand the subtext, you can craft dialogue that is more nuanced and believable. It's like an iceberg, the real meat is underneath the surface.
Listen to Real Conversations
We touched on this earlier, but it's worth repeating: listen to real conversations. Pay attention to how people actually talk. Notice their rhythms, their slang, their interruptions, and their use of filler words. The more you listen, the better you'll become at writing realistic dialogue. This is like research for your writing, you want to observe and document how people talk in different situations.
Consider transcribing a conversation. This can be a really helpful exercise in understanding how real people speak. You'll see all the ums, ahs, and tangents that don't usually make it into written dialogue. Of course, you don't want to replicate these things exactly in your writing, but it's good to be aware of them.
Develop Distinct Character Voices
Each of your characters should have a distinct voice. They should speak in a way that is consistent with their personality, background, and education. A street-smart teenager is going to talk differently than a buttoned-up lawyer, you know? If all your characters sound the same, your dialogue is going to feel flat and uninspired. Each character should have their own unique way of speaking, their own vocabulary, and their own style of expression. This adds depth and realism to your story.
Create character profiles that include details about their speech patterns. What kind of slang do they use? Do they have any catchphrases? Do they speak quickly or slowly? Do they have a particular accent or dialect? This will help you keep their voices consistent throughout the story.
Examples of Cringey Dialogue and How to Fix Them
Let's look at some examples of cringey dialogue and how we can fix them:
Cringey Example 1:
"Oh, John, I have loved you since the moment I first laid eyes upon you! My heart aches for you!"
Why it's cringey: This is overly dramatic and melodramatic. No one really talks like this in real life (unless they're in a soap opera!).
How to fix it:
"John… I think I'm in love with you. I have been for a while."
This is much simpler and more believable. It conveys the same emotion without being over the top.
Cringey Example 2:
"As you know, I am the supreme leader of this galaxy, and I have been ruling for over a thousand years. My power is unmatched!"
Why it's cringey: This is a blatant infodump disguised as dialogue. The character is just telling the other character (and the reader) things they already know.
How to fix it:
"You think you can challenge me? I've ruled this galaxy for a thousand years. Show some respect."
This conveys the same information in a more subtle and engaging way. It also adds some conflict to the scene.
Cringey Example 3:
"I am feeling quite melancholy today, wouldn't you agree? The weather is simply dreadful!"
Why it's cringey: This is overly formal and stilted. It doesn't sound like natural conversation.
How to fix it:
"Ugh, I'm so bummed out today. This weather sucks."
This is much more casual and realistic. It sounds like something a real person might say.
Final Thoughts
Writing dialogue that doesn't make your readers cringe takes practice and attention to detail. But by being aware of the pitfalls of cringey dialogue and by following the tips outlined in this guide, you can dramatically improve your writing. Remember to listen to real conversations, develop distinct character voices, and focus on subtext. And most importantly, don't be afraid to experiment and take risks! With a little effort, you can craft dialogue that is both believable and engaging. So go forth and write some amazing dialogue, guys! Good luck!